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On airplanes:
Bring your computer keyboard without a monitor. Place it on your lap. Stare into the palm of your hand. Push the return key a few times. Yell out "Yes! Alright! I told them I didn't need a laptop!" Plug the headphones into your nostril and play DOOM.
Snap Polaroids of people. Tuck the photo under your jacket and say, "You know, in some cultures they believe that when you take a person's photograph...you own their soul..." while smiling maniacally.
Speak in an incredibly fake Australian accent. Call the person "mate". Tell them you're not used to seeing the sky, since you are from "Down Under". Keep repeating quotes from "Crocodile Dundee," such as "That's not a knife! That's a knife!" until they are forced to yell at you that you are not Australian. Call them prejudiced
When ordering Pizza:
Stutter on the letter "p."
Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.
Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.
Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream goodbye at the top of your lungs
Ask that they include such ingredients like� riboflavin, niacin or xanthin.
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In general:
Make beeping noises whenever a fat person backs up.
Forget the punch line to a joke, but assure the listener that it was a real 'hoot'.
Name your dog "Dog".
Put a " X " in random spots on someone's road map.
Smile and wave to strangers. .
Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavour off
Staple papers in the middle of the page.
Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley
When you walk into a room, turn off the lights. Turn them on when you leave.
Set your alarm clock for three o'clock. Push the doze button every 5 minutes when it beeps for the next five hours, each time telling your roommate that you'll wake up in five minutes.
Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your room mate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the hell is my sandwich!?" Complain loudly that you are hungry
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On elevators:
Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly
Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
Say "Ding!" at each floor
Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
Tell the chicken crossed the road joke & laugh at it.
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